Being a Tourist Part 3

Today's Being a Tourist blog post is brought to you with the help of our sponsor....the ghetto! Many of you may be confused.....so was I. Where do I even begin for this one?? Well I guess the beginning. Originally, this post was going to be dedicated to the lovely part of Buenos Aires that you always see the pictures of online. The cute little colorful houses right by the water....how lovely right?


Well here is what they don't tell you about those pictures. All of those cute little colorful houses are actually located in a part of Buenos Aires known as La Boca. When I first arrived here in Buenos Aires I told my contact at Connect-123 that I wanted to see those houses and she told me, "Okay well if you go there be careful....it's really our not-nice-area." I didn't think much of it honestly because I've been to a lot of not-nice-areas in my life between Boston and New Bedford so I was going to go see the pretty houses anyways and get you all some good pictures. I am not a complete moron though, when someone says an area is dangerous I do take proper precautions (sort of).


I decided I would take someone who had already visited the pretty houses. Now to keep this person's privacy safe I will not name them, however she is the only other person who I have posted a picture of here in Argentina....hint hint nudge nudge.....anyway she is a great person, cute, blonde, funny, but what I failed to know about her is she is absolutely TERRIBLE with directions and buses.


Now for a quick recount of my day. It started out well enough, we both met for breakfast, which here in Argentina is always a cup of coffee and some toast (perfect for me!) and then headed out. The first thing we did, at her knowledge was get on the 39 bus. Easy enough. We got on the bus and proceeded to ride it for quite some time. I asked if it seemed like we were going in the right direction and was assured by my friend that yes it was correct it just takes some time. And then the bus stopped at a station/parking space and the driver politely told us that we had to get off as this was the last stop and the bus was staying there. We got off the bus, me assuming we were there, my friend with a slight look of concern. Apparently we were not in the right place. Apparently, we had taken the bus in the wrong direction for so long that we reached the opposite end of where we were supposed to be going. But that's not all folks.....we also didn't know where a bus stop for the same bus going in the other direction was. Perfect right?


At this point I figured, whatever stuff happens so we searched for a bus stop for the bus going in the other direction and after walking for about 20 minutes found one and got on. At this point we were sure we were going in the right direction and knew we had quite the long bus ride ahead of us. The bus continued to drive farther and farther and farther until we reached the area of Buenos Aires known as La Boca.


Now for a brief explanation of La Boca. Literally the name translates to the mouth and many ignorant tourists probably assume it is a cute neighborhood resembling a South American type of Vineyard Gingerbread house neighborhood. This is a GROSS mischaracterization. In reality La Boca is a cross between Lower Roxbury and the part of a tropical island beyond the resort where tourists are frowned upon venturing out into. I would love to say that the two blocks of houses with colors is redeeming however, I never found those houses so.....I guess we should continue with the story of my adventure.

As we were heading into La Boca I turned to my friend and asked if she knew when to get off and if things looked familiar.....she said, "Ummmm sort of, I'm sure I'll know it when I see it." Not even 5 minutes after this conversation the bus driver pulled the bus into a warehouse and informed us that this was the end of the line and this bus was stopping here for the night."GREAT!!! AMAZING!!!" I thought. We got out of the bus in the middle of La Boca and looked around. I had no idea where to go and neither did my friend. She however, remembered walking by the water to find the houses so that's what we decided to do, head for the water. It actually didn't seem that bad. There actually seemed to be a bike path that sort of went along the river's edge. I mean if you ignored the gangs of people who had parked there cars and were drinking shirtless and carrying on it was just fine, almost. Here are two pictures of the path we were on.....funny thing is this actually wasn't a path at all, it was a road that cars drove on so every once in a while we did have to make way for a car that always tended to slow down a little too much as it drove by us.




I do not have a lot of pictures of the neighborhood of La Boca because I thought it would be a bad idea to walk through brandishing my camera as a flag that I was indeed a tourist....I mean besides my blonde friend and our attire. We then approached a bridge....neither of us had remembered crossing a bridge to arrive in the ghetto, however there was a sign that pointed to Buenos Aires in that direction and it seemed as if the other side of the bridge was probably a lot safe than where we were at that point.....so across the bridge we went. Then all of a sudden as we tried to find a bus to take us back home (having finally given up any hope of finding the pretty houses) the neighborhood seemed just as bad as it had before....in fact it may have been worse in some respects....now people were clearly staring at us and several attempted to talk to us and ask us questions. Then I saw what I thought might be a point of salvation....a Carrefour superstore. I had the idea to just duck in there to figure out where we should go because no one would rob us inside a store. When we got in the store we both immediately felt safer and figured out a plan to get home.....either a cab or a bus with a number we recognized. I also looked for an iron. Two reasons: 1. My mother has been bugging me to buy one since coming here and 2. I figured if we had an iron if someone did try to rob us I could just hit them with the iron.....I know not the most reasonable plan I've ever had so I guess it's a good thing that we didn't get robbed and the Carrefour didn't have an iron for sale.


After leaving the store we headed back toward the bridge and were then faced with a choice, go back to where we started or head down into the neighborhoods we though were safer. Naturally we sided with safety and began walking. Suddenly the neighborhoods weren't nearly as sketchy looking. I felt I could take my camera out and take pictures actually. Unfortunately there was only one thing really worthy of a picture, a pretty wooden carved picture. So here that is...

We continued walking for quite some time....probably around an hour or so....until we came upon the saving grace of the day.....


Did you know that made PIZZA-IN-A-CONE!!!????!!!!????? Genius.....pure and simple GENIUS!!! I now have a new become a millionaire plan....open one of these in Boston and get all the drunk college kids to buy some on the way home at night.....smart, I think so! But I digress, this restaurant seemed quite nice. They have them all around Argentina apparently, according to the sign displaying the businesses history. It is delicious....basically what they do is wrap pizza crust into a cone shape, then they fill it with cheese and whatever toppings you might want. I took lots of pictures! No worries if you can't conceptualize it....just keep reading. Even better than the pizza cones was that I got 5 points....what are the points for??? Well they are not imaginary and they do matter....if you get 25 pts. you get a free cone, 45 is two free cones, and 55 is, well you get it. Anyway this, like a bucket of KFC in Lower Roxbury, makes the trip into dangerous territory totally worth it!

 
I was really REALLY Excited about the 5 points!!! Leave me alone...it was the highlight of my day 

Those were the two lovely workers who made my pizza cones!

The pizza cones themselves....mmmmmmmm.....soooooo goood!

This is a close-up of the sign behind the cashier...I took it because....well I mean look at it, especially the middle picture. Do you see how she is eating the pizza cone?? I'm telling you drunk college kids would LOVE these....I'm thinking a Boston franchise is coming soon.

So while eating my pizza cones I completely forgot that we were lost in the middle of a not so great neighborhood. Many people are probably wondering why we didn't at this point just ask for directions....well truth be told I don't know the exact reason. I think part of it was that by asking for directions you immediately label yourself as a tourist and put a target on you as a tourist. Some part of me was hoping that so long as I kept my mouth shut I look enough like an Argentina that everyone would leave us alone...this of course is ridiculous because we were clearly lost and did not belong...but hindsight is 20/20 I guess.


At this point we decide the 17 is the bus that will get us home. So we get on a 17 tell the bus driver where we are heading in order to pay and he tells us that we are on the wrong bus and that we need to take the bus in the other direction. This of course is easier said than done. We now have to get off the bus cross four lanes of traffic and wait yet again at the bus stop for the right bus. Perfect, right? Finally the 17 comes and we get on...this time sure we are going in the right direction and ready to finally get home. We have now been just trying to get home for probably 4-5 hours....we were both exhausted. After about 20 minutes on the bus seats finally were available for us to sit in which was nice. We then sat down and began rehashing the day as we began to notice street names that we both knew. Then just as had happened two other times that day, the bus stopped and the driver informed us that we must get off...at a station neither one of us recognized in a part of the city neither one of us recognized either. at this point we both began laughing uncontrollably.....I mean people thought we were crazy we were laughing so hard for no apparent reason. 


As we looked around we noticed we had gotten off at what appeared to be some sort of fair. There was a man doing a puppet show that the hordes of people seemed to find quite amusing. Meanwhile my eyes were peeled for anything resembling a bar. I needed a drink. Now I know that you shouldn't drink when stressed out, and drinking is bad for you, but you know what sometimes all you want/need is a drink. So we found an outdoors bar and we each got a drink. I got some sort of frozen daiquiri that came in a glass so large I can only describe it as a large glass bowl. PERFECT! I sucked it down in probably 10 minutes....which is only relevant because the process of getting a place to sit, placing an order, and actually getting the drink probably took 30 minutes. At this point the sun started going down and my friend and I both decided it was probably time we figure out where we were and how to get home.


At this point I spotted the tops of some mausoleums.....that's right folks, somehow we went from the ghetto of La Boca to Recoleta Cemetery. Sometimes I think my life is just a sick joke. Anyway, I knew exactly how to get home from there so we decided to walk around the fair for a little while. It is funny though that they had a huge craft fair right outside of the cemetery. Honestly the whole time I was expecting it to be part of some act.....like some actor dressed as Jesus was going to come and tip over all the tables screaming about getting out of his father's house as some sort of live-Catholic-Stage-Art, but it never happened. The rest of the story is actually pretty uneventful...sorry....but I did take some pictures so we'll end with them.

This was the puppet show...it seemed like it was a show for kids, but I'm pretty sure the jokes he was telling were definitely adult oriented so I'm not exactly sure.

This was the second time we saw this scene that day. The first time however, people were living beneath those types of tents not selling crappy touristy gift underneath them....but in both places tourist were getting ripped off so maybe they have more in common than I first thought.